Winning or Losing- it’s how you play the game
I can only describe this month as an up and down pinball game of wins and losses. I’m workin’ those flippers hard, my friends! Sometimes I’m sending the ball into the clown’s mouth and racking up the points, at other times, I’m whiffing and it mercilessly dives down the drain into the belly of the beast. It’s all good fun, though, I promise! I can feel the power rising in the art and my excitement around the work that I’m creating. Never have I felt more like an artist. I expect that feeling will grow as I become more aligned with the vision and scope of the work.
I know, it’s always changing with me. I’m still not targeted in “what I do” and you don’t know what to expect from my studio. Heck, I don’t know what to expect yet, so how can you?! I’m working to change that.
Inspiration can come from both wins and losses. A win might be the positive response you get when you post a piece on social media and you see the “likes” and comments roll in. For me, this is a helpful tool to help gauge the impact of a new painting. Another way to measure artistic growth is to submit paintings into shows. Tonight, for example, is the opening of a group “Egalitarian” show where my piece will be hanging with 160 others! I don’t exactly expect it to sell, but I do see it as an opportunity to gauge a reaction, start to get my name out there in the fine arts locally, and build audience awareness for similar work down the line.
Self Portrait with iPhone
gouache on claybord
12 x 12 inches
On view at 82 Parris St, Portland, ME where New Systems Exhibitions used to be.
Regardless if this piece had been accepted, I’ve been quietly working on a series of portrait and figure-based work. The work has been lacking direction, interesting color, a definitive theme… and then all of a sudden, I felt the spark of inspiration fill in all of the shadowy areas of uncertainty. Perhaps it was due to this little “win”! Who knows, but all of a sudden I’m supercharged artistically and so excited for the next phase of exploration around this series.
The panels I’d been experimenting with all have fresh new layers of thick gesso (currently still drying!) and I have my photo reference sent off to a color printer so I can get started first thing on Monday. Tally-ho! We are off to the races!
In the meantime, the Claybord animal inspired painting (originally intended as the pilot piece for a series) has been sanded down and is sitting wounded in a corner until the touch of inspiration comes down like a hurricane on that one, too. I suppose for the time being this one is in the “loss” category.
I’m also disappointed to say that the painting I’d been working on for the 2022 Chapbook Cover Contest for MWPA was not a winner this year. I know I was at a bit of a disadvantage because last year my illustration won the prize, but the competitor in me went for it anyway! A loss, but then again I like how it came out and I learned so much when making the piece… so is it a loss, really? Nevertheless, when you get those rejection emails, they always sting a bit. As an artist, you just get used to it. You have to get used to it, or those instances hurt so much you might give up. Don’t you do that… Don’t you EVER do that!
I’d also been crossing my fingers and toes for a 25 hour a week remote agent for illustrators worldwide. Advocate Art is a pretty rad art agency and I would have been thrilled for the opportunity to use my skills representing artists as applied to illustration- obviously! I made it through the first round of hurdles. Ultimately however, it was not to be, and they probably hired a very skilled person who is bilingual to boot. Damn my high school novice Spanish!
Oh well.
Now, let’s talk wins! I have been accepted as the Marketing Assistant for the IDSVA (Institute for Doctoral Studies in the Visual Arts) as a very part-time in-office assistant. It’s perfect for me right now and I’m very pleased to have a dedicated time away from the studio in a professional setting working for a higher education institution. I finally brought my buns down to a real clothing store and congratulated myself with a few cute outfits. Feel free to compliment me if you see me around town- haha!
That’s about it for now, I think. I’ve got to get dinner going, and wish me luck I get to the opening at 82 Parris tonight! Baby girl has a stomach bug to compliment her double ear infection. She is so extra.
