A Turn Inward
The warmer days are coming and the snow is beginning to melt. My own hibernation, however, feels like it is just beginning.
As I had mentioned in my previous post I’ll be permanently deleting my Instagram account, and the day for erasure is this coming Tuesday. Why the formality? I don’t mean to be so dramatic, but it feels like a big deal to step away, and I wanted to make sure I gave time for followers to see the announcement and know how to get in touch. I decided to not yet get off of social media entirely, and will experiment with rebuilding my art community on social media platforms that I feel I can trust- I chose Substack and Bluesky. I’ll give these a try and hopefully they will be the place where I share my art and my journaling. It’s a bit daunting, but overall it feels like an exciting opportunity for rebranding. I’ve noticed that the apps integrate really well and they’re a great way to find the people you want to find without getting bogged down with the flashy shiny things that make Instagram the addictive time-killer that it is. I also feel much safer on these platforms sharing things about myself, and safety is key when navigating the internet!
I’ve set up the accounts to get to know them and give a place for my IG followers to continue to find me, but for the time being I'm not sharing content on social media. Over the coming months I want to just play in my studio. Like, really play and feel the unwatched freedom to do so. I now realize that in my past few years of creating I was constantly making for an audience. At the time I wasn’t overtly aware of the pressure I was putting on myself to post content. I would watch what I was doing through a potential social media post or video, and was always aware of what might be “shareable content”.
How restricting!
I know now that I was beholden to that imaginary audience in my head, and I suspect that the duality I felt made me insecure about the work I was making. When we are insecure and not in the moment, we cannot truly be connecting to ourselves and we can’t make fun and daring art!
So at present, I find myself in a moment of intentional solitude (more or less- I’m still blogging, obviously!), and I am trying to remember when I wasn’t so connected. At least the upshot is that I’ll never have to refer to MapQuest lost on the backroads of Boston or get burned resorting to a taxi service on New Years Eve ever again. Satellite navigation and easy ride-sharing definitely feels like a technological improvement!
As I forcibly tear my attention away from a digital landscape to a physical one, I am trying to see with clarity the things that matter. On my easel are large landscapes, and on my drafting table is an illustration I started last spring that I’m finally working on finishing. I don’t mind saying so- I’m starting to make good art! At this time in my life I’m really excited about the different kinds of work that I’m doing and have made my creativity a top priority. I have a more discerning eye these days and I recognize the layers of wisdom beginning to build, not dissimilar to the layers of texture, interesting mark-making, and more evolved sense of color that are finding their way to my panels. The most difficult thing by far has been landing on my voice. How shaky it has been at times! And yet, I feel I’m almost there! I’ve found it when it comes to my illustration work, and now I’m honing in on that voice in fine art.
Even though my artistry is currently in hiding, I’m clawing my way out of a bleak winter sleep and I’m making more plans to get out and get social. This past weekend two close friends and I were able to break away for a long-planned trip to Aruba to celebrate our 40th birthdays. It was deeply gratifying to share that experience and recharge under strong sun and island breezes. It was a vivid reminder that there is so much inspiration surrounding us! If we’re not careful, we will lose these human desires to look outward- a price to be paid so that we may stay plugged in.
Oranjestad, Aruba, Mar. 2025
